If you're struggling with your relationship right now, I want you to know that this course is here to help partners like you:

Are you tired of the same old struggles in your relationship? Do you feel like you've hit a wall and can't seem to move forward? If you're ready to take your relationship to the next level and become the best version of yourself within it, then the Couples Paradox Program is just what you need!

All relationships go through ups and downs, but it's the ability to navigate through those cycles of harmony, disharmony, and repair that makes a great relationship.

If you find yourselves stuck in a perpetual state of disharmony with little to no progress towards resolution, then this program is tailored for you.

INTRODUCING

The Couples Paradox

This is the ideal program for couples and individuals wanting to be masterful in relationships skills, regardless of age, gender, or sexual orientation.

The focus is on assessment-based awareness and systematic and focused practice helping you develop relational skills that stick. You will each learn how to be a rewarding partner who is mindfully aware and relationally responsive.

Want to find your relational superpower? Here you will find all the tools you need.

MEET YOUR COACH

Hi, I'm Dr. William C Shearer!

I’m a couples therapist. I have over four decades of training and experience, culminating in a great track record working with couples.

I’ve been a licensed California psychologist for 46 years. I specialize in couples therapy and I’ve helped over two thousand couples tackle tough relationship issues. Over 75% of my work is couples/marriage counseling. My therapist wife Robin and I have written two couples books, and I have taught couples therapy to decades of graduate psychology and MFT students

I also specialize in the treatment of addiction and eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa and bulimia. Additionally, I specialize in treating stress and anxiety disorders such as panic disorder.

I am a wellness consultant and wellness and well-being coach, drawing upon my background in exercise physiology, clinical nutrition, and experience with health psychology. I have been a nutrition professor for over 15 years.

I’ve had a varied career. I started out in New Jersey as a high school United States history teacher until accepting an Air Force commission. I retired as a Lieut. Col. having run a drug and alcohol rehabilitation program and Air Force counseling center.

My psychology doctorate is from the University of Tennessee. My MBA is from Pepperdine University. My MPH (Masters in Public Health) is from Loma Linda University. I also have graduate degrees in education and Health Services Administration.

I’m passionate about helping couples thrive as a team rather than struggle as individuals trying to get what they need from their relationship, feeling frustrated, discouraged, and not understood.

I see each couple as a neurobiological interpersonal system. My client is the relationship, “the space between.” and I look for destructive patterns in the relationship. My job is to get the two of you to fully understand the patterns and to work together to build a great relationship. It needs to be the two of you against the pattern instead of against each other, or “Us consciousness,” rather than you and me consciousness. Within your relationship, each of you needs to be working on self-awareness and self-management (emotional self-regulation), and co-regulation, with a focus on bringing the best version of you to the relationship.

You may be feeling frustrated and unhappy with your couple situation, or you may be simply wanting to grow toward being a great relationship partner, skillfully contributing to a great relationship. You might be single and wanting to show up as a great partner in your next relationship. You may be a couple wanting to work together to build a great relationship.
The essence of a great relationship is both parties becoming masterful at being self-aware and remembering love. I help couples become highly skilled at working together as a team to quickly repair disconnection.
No one's perfect and we all make mistakes, and we all hurt/offend/frustrate/confuse/anger our partners. Also, we all get hung up on debating the facts, and that never helps anything. Then there is avoidance, which usually makes things much worse. Conflict is inevitable, but conflict can be an opportunity to grow your relationship. With coaching, you can become a relational Pro.

You can learn how to consistently calm down, slow down, relax, give up control, give up having to be right, give up having to win, give up having to avoid - and most of all give up having to defend. Instead, put your own stuff on the back burner for a while and tune into your partner with the full commitment to totally understand them at a deeper level, understanding their deeper emotions and their unmet needs. You can learn to communicate this understanding with empathy, compassion, and validation. Great relationship habits can replace knee-jerk autopilot reacting.

Most people are terrible at doing these things and that's why most relationships don't work. Nearly 50% of marriages don't work. Millions of people who are not formally married, and therefore not part of the 50% statistic, walk away from their relationship. Millions of couples who stay together are unhappy. That translates to about 70% of long-term relationships not working very well. However, my mission is to help people be in the 30% that are successful and happy - and I have a great track record.

Think of me as your relationship coach. My mission is to help you be in the successful 30% and all that is required of you is for you to be willing to work at being more self-aware and better at self-regulation and self-management — remembering love and cultivating “Us consciousness.”.
All I need is for each of you to be motivated and coachable. I can teach you the rest.